At 3:06a on Sunday morning my entire body jolted me awake. It felt like my heart was literally going to leap out of my chest. I summoned my Yogi breath and took three deep breaths and got my nervous system under control long enough to realize that these were really intense diaphragmatic contractions. My pacemaker, which had recently been replaced, was a new fancier model with lots of options and the option that it had been tuned for apparently wasn't the right one. The little bit of charge that goes through to help my heart beat in synchrony was hitting a neuromuscular junction in my diaphragm nearby and every time I took a deep breath my whole diaphragm would suddenly contract in synchrony with my heart. Until you've experienced this you have no idea how disconcerting it is. This went on for most of the night and for the better part of the next two days until I was able to get into the device clinic and have the program changed. As the title suggests these photos are what you see when you are trying to keep your heart and mind from jumping out of your chest.
chicago, 2019 - pigment print